Urban Dictionary, the most accurate dictionary of our time defines Bitchy Resting Face as:
1. A bitchy alternative to the usual blank look most people have. This is a condition affecting the facial muscles, suffered by millions of women worldwide. People suffering from bitchy resting face (BRF) have the tendency look hostile and/or judgmental at rest. Their expression does not necessarily reflect how they are feeling inside. BRF can ruin friendships and first impressions, start fights and kill an atmosphere.
“I think Deborah hates me!!”, “Nah don’t worry Susie, she just has a nasty bitchy resting face”
I debated even admitting this publicly for a long time, because like any cosmetic procedure, it’s sort of embarrassing. It’s embarrassing to let anyone know that you hated something so badly about yourself that you were willing to spend hard earned money to fix it. But if one more person comes up to me and asks me why I’m pissed off or says “Smile!” I will actually murder them, this seemed like a better solution. Laugh lines are a nice thing to grow old with, an angry furrowing brow is not.
But lets talk about Botox. Don’t get me wrong, I know I am a huge fan of the duck face but this does not mean I was hoping to look like a Real Housewife of Orange County, ( Or Vancouver where I question Canadian laws regarding the amount of botox you are legally allowed to pump into a single human being). But I could not stop laughing hysterically when I booked the appointment.
“ Hello, yes I would like to talk about botox, but I’m only 24”
*pause and wait for judgement along with the question if I am the real Heidi Montag*
“ Sure, what time can you come in?”
“ Well this is more preventative… Its just one very deep wrinkle”
“Yes, botox is meant to be preventative”
“I can come in on Monday.”
I envisioned the moment of the doctor busting out the marker and drawing on my face until I looked like bride of chucky. I then imagined them to glance down and continue marking up the rest of my body,
“ Oh your boobs could use some work! and Some lipo here would be grrreaat!”
But actually, it was a professional woman who looked only slightly botoxed herself who took some photos with an Ipad and said that she understood why it was bothering me. After a brief chat I was committed to some quick injections. (on my lunch break no less—where is my application for Real Housewives?)
15 minutes later I was on my way, no pain, no clown marks all over my face. The deep ass crack on my forehead was soon to be gone for good…. Or at least 6 months. I have spent the last 2 weeks feeling incredibly embarrassed that I got botox at 24.
I feel the need to say that I’m a firm believer in changing what bothers you. I refuse to tell my child that if she grows up hating her nose that she should learn to love it. Or if my son has severe acne that it’s just part of growing up. If you are embarrassed about something on your body, whether it’s your hair, your stomach, or your skin you should never be embarrassed that society thinks you’re shallow. I refuse to live with something that has bothered me for several years, and that makes me look grumpy all the time.
Other rationale included the fact I used to buy expensive “line filler” serum from Kiehl’s that literally never made a difference, and once I did some research I learned that anything topical will never solve the problem. I have 100 per cent never been so happy with something I have done to myself. I have spent far worse money on haircuts that I could have done better myself or hair coloring that I hated. This could possibly be the best beauty money I have ever spent.
I figured I’d share this information anyways, Botox is not meant to make you look like a lizard. It’s preventative. If I start doing this now I won’t have something that gets progressively worse in my 40s. I’d rather look 24 when I’m 24 than try to look 24 when I’m 40.
If you don’t like something, change it. Isn’t that what we’re taught?
Anyways, if y’all see me making a bitch face at you, you know I mean it now.
Here are some pictures of the problem I once faced, and also a great video explaining RBF.
Me looking like the angriest human ever while enjoying breakfast on a beautiful day in LA.
Here is a good shot of the defined line.
Sorry for the extreme close up…